I Squat, Therefore I Am.

I have mastered the art of living rent free. No, really, it is an art, and I am the damn Michelangelo of borrowing couches, futons and more than a few pillow tops for the night. What distinguishes me from girls that sleep around a whole bunch, and elevates my game to art-tastic is that I don’t have to do anything to get said spot to snooze.

Don’t get me wrong, I will and have, taken full advantage of many of the City’s finest wannabe musicians, tattoo artists and oh yes, SLuicide sisters when I have the urge, but it isn’t part of the Maddy G. Happy Meal most nights. Let’s take last night for example, subject was a straight male, mid-twenties, fancied himself a bit of a musician… why do all guitar players think they are going to be the next Hendrix, Edge or Slash? I mean seriously, we all know they only started playing to get chicks, I can tell by the thin layer of dust on the thing that he hasn’t given that neck a good squeeze in forever…. I digress, met him at the pet food store, I don’t actually own a pet, but I find that a guy buying bags of kibble isn’t adverse to taking home the occasional stray… great tip ladies, pet supply stores and animal shelters are a great place to meet guys, unless you have allergies, in that case head straight for Aquarium City.

Where was I, oh yes, Strays… guys have egos, and that means that if a hot chick agrees to visit his apartment, he’s thinking he has a pretty good chance of getting laid. The real trick in all this is stroking that ego enough that he won’t even notice that you just talked him out of sex, yes it can be done, a little flattery works, let him get to first base if you like, my personal fave is grabbing his (Insert name of current ‘hot’ mobile device loaded with more apps than any human can actually use) and snapping a few hot pics of yourself, to a guy having those to show around to his boys is almost better than sex… it’s like, ‘hey, I may have had sex with this chick’ ammunition (and it lasts way longer than sex for these dudes). Then casually stake out a spot to crash for the night and lay claim to it. It might take a bit of practise to work out the finer details of the transaction, not every tactic will work on every guy, but like last night’s subject… if he had to have his tatt of ‘I heart Portia’ changed to ‘I heart Porno’ then he is going to have a weakness or two.

So take it from her MaddGesty, you too can save up enough to open that Hooters you’ve been dreaming of with a little effort and finesse, the icing on the cake for me was the spare key and five dollar coffee left by the bedside when I woke up… looks like I know where I’ll be sleeping tonight. Sweet dreams boys and girls!

Credits:

Skin – LeLutka Mila Raizin – Make-up 6
Hair – Mirai Jewe – Darkcherry
Eyes – MADesigns Promise – Brown Pale 9

Lashes – Redgrave – Elemental Lashes 16

Other Beauty Layers – L.Fauna Extra Freckles – Tan
Tattoos – YaYo Musical Notes (Neck) & The Sea Hole SuperSkully colorful Classic Sleeve
Piercings – kOwP Hopeless 2 (Face) &  U&R Dogs Candide – Twisted (Ears)
Jacket – Sweetest Goodbye Oh! – Orange
Undies – WTW ver33 – Orange 4
Shoes – Redgrave Athlete Sneakers – Orange/Brown
Poses – LAP & Imperial Elegance (closed).

About Maddy G.

Proud to be an original SLuicide Girl! ;-P View all posts by Maddy G.

One response to “I Squat, Therefore I Am.

  • Posh Slade

    Word! That’s great financial advice. My coin purse is full and I’m a few $1 coins away from opening my version of Hooters, called “Peckers!” I figure this way, all day long I get to look @ shirtless hotties with cock bulge, be the only pair of tits on the payroll, and still make a profit! 😀

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