The Importance of Being… Sober.

So on Saturday morning I woke up feeling a bit groggy, but discovered myself to be in a very cozy bed.  Naked.  Which isn’t altogether that unusual, except that it wasn’t my cozy bed.  Also not that unusual.  But I couldn’t seem to recall how I got there.

I dragged myself (tentatively) out of the bed and fumbled to the bathroom.  How the eff did I get here? Whose house is this?  What did I do last night? Who did I do it with?!?!  Fucking hell…

I stumbled to the sink to wash my face, desperately trying to recollect the previous evening’s activities.  Alcohol.  I definitely remembered alcohol.  I could still taste alcohol.  As the hot water flowed, it began to steam up the mirror.  Just then I heard a knock on the bathroom door.  I froze.

“Yes?” I replied weakly.

“Good morning, honey!  How are you feeling my angel?” an unfamiliar, nasally male voice asked.  Honey? ANGEL?!  What in the…

“Uh, I’m fine,” I hesitantly called back, chanting in my head please don’t come in, please don’t come in.

Oh, good! Well I have breakfast cooking for you, love.  I threw your dress in the laundry since you spilled that drink on it last night.  I laid out one of my shirts for you to wear until it’s cleaned and dried. I also drew you a little picture on the mirror… hope you can see it!

“You threw my dress in the laun— nevermind… ok, right, yeah… I’ll be right down.”  I softly whimpered over the idea of my $500.00 Nicole Miller stretch lace mini-dress tumbling about in cold water and liquid Tide.  I then looked at the mirror, now fully steamed.  A heart.  He drew me a fucking heart.

My face contorted into what can only be described as utter terror. I started wondering how the FUCK I was gonna get out of here without having to confront this stranger who was very clearly deluded into believing I was somehow the love of his life.

I looked at the bench in the center of the bathroom and found the shirt he laid out for me, neatly folded with my shoes on the floor next to it.  There were about a dozen assorted ties hanging on the back of the bathroom door.  I grabbed a pink one to match my shoes, wrapping it around my waist to hold this… dress?… together. I figured there was no reason to not still look good when wearing makeshift clothing.  Now where the fuck was my purse?

I quietly slipped out of the bathroom and found my purse on the floor by the bed.  I grabbed it and suddenly realized that I had no car.  I also had no way of knowing where I was to call someone to come get me.  I glanced out the window and realized that wherever I was, it was urban.  Somewhere midtown, easy to get my bearings.  I bolted for that door like this manpad was on FIRE.  As I reached for the doorknob I heard the nasal voice whining loudly from what I assumed was the kitchen.

“Breakfast is ready my sweet!”

UGH!  I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen a run of shame before; hair disheveled, clothes not quite clothes, heels clicking rapidly… frantically, really… but trust me when I say… that shit is not something I recommend.  I managed to get out of there, get a cab, and get back to the safety of my home… without having to confront my potential stalker. I can only imagine what this whiny geek must have looked like.  I really need to reconsider the amount of alcohol I consume on a typical Friday night. *sighs*

Hair – [Shag] – Breathe Me – ruby
Lashes – Perse – Wild Brush Lashes
Skin – Glam Affair – Nina 03 one eleven
Eyes – Exodi – Au Naturel Eyes – Grey
Forearm Tattoo – AITUI TATTOO – How it Happens
Hip Tattoo – AITUI TATTOO – Star Story
Shoes – NX-Nardcotix MANA Edith – Pink (COMING SOON)
Bracelet/Earrings – ::MOOD:: Endless Glam
Dress – Tiny Bird – The Morning After Dress – White
Bed – The Loft – Bailey Bed
Bathroom set – The Loft – Bailey Bathroom
Bookshelf – LISP Bazaar – Woodcutter Bookshelf
Poses – Exposeur

5 responses to “The Importance of Being… Sober.

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